Spirit Day Reflections

I was perfectly willing to keep my mouth shut & remain neutral but something recent has compelled me to speak.

Facebook & other online communities ( included) started a "Wear Purple for Spirit Day on Oct 20th" www.facebook.com/event.php?eid… in response to raising awareness about teen bullying & the recent high profile suicides surrounding the LGBTA community.

Speaking from someone who was a bully victim, I sympathize.

I graduated in the pre-Columbine 1996 school environment where bullying awareness was next to nill. I've been knocked out by a sleeper hold, pelted w/ a broom handle like its a baseball bat, hip-checked against a locker, countless bloody noses, glasses broken, name-called relentlessly, being spat-on, had another guy climb onto a locker & jump off it WWE style hitting me in the head... & those were just the guys. The girls were even nastier in their own way because they mess w/ your head w/ rumors.

What helped back then (especially in middle school) was I had a life outside of the school environment. It didn't hurt I was ingrained by my parents that if people started shit w/ me, I was to defend myself. But if I started shit w/ someone else, I was left high & dry where I deserved to be.

Many people simply don't have that support & are left in isolation. When there is no hope & a person feels like no one is or willing to listen to them, suicide (among many other things) looks like a pretty attractive alternative. Lord knows I've known many a Marine brother who has at least thought about eating their weapon because they simply didn't know how to handle the isolation/life transition &/or didn't know how or where to get help. The lack of adequate Mental Health Services has never been great for our servicemen (in comparison to standard medical aid) but that's for another discussion.

It saddens me that the Spirit Day promotion w/ so much potential left my stomach feeling empty.

Contrary to how it was made out, bullying nor suicide is a phenomenon limited to the LGBTA demographic. I think that's what angers me the most. The event didn't try to raise money for organizations that address the bullying situation. It didn't try to educate, nor point the victims to resources they could turn to in their hour of need. It didn't try to educate a victims friends on what they can do to help stop the bullying or be on the look-out if their friend is feeling so helpless they'll kill themselves.

It also neglects that just because one leaves the academic environment, it doesn't mean the bullying all of a sudden stops. Assholes are something people simply have to deal w/ ALL their lives whether its the idiot boss taking advantage of his position of power or the inconsiderate coworker refusing to use their indoor voice or the rural police officer giving you a hard time because they can or the college roommate who you despise or the boyfriend being in the mood when you're not or someone in the other department making shit up about you instead of *gasp* actually asking you in person or the wife nagging you to fix the fence when all you want to do is grab a nice cold one after working a 12-hour shift. (Some of these are hyperbole but they're all symptoms of the same thing, the application of power)

I see Spirit Day (at least how it was executed) as being similar to those bullshit "1-day not Buying Gas" protests. It like people flailing their arms, giving the impression they're "doing something" when what they're ACTUALLY doing is barely anything at all.

Don't get me wrong, its nice to complain about an injustice but that only does so much.

If people want to address this problem, the victims really need to speak up & tell someone & keep speaking up until someone will listen AND actually do something about it before it reaches a boiling point. They can't be subtle about it either. An argument against it is that it makes the bullying worse. I agree but in our society (especially in an academic environment), especially when its arguably a grey area, people have to be told what they're doing wrong, how inappropriate it is, & allow them to correct their actions. If that doesn't stop, victims needs stand up for themselves. Violence is rarely a good initial response but sometimes it IS eventually necessary.

Furthermore if some schmuck online is relentlessly talking trash about you (trust me, there are & will be no shortage of them), get off the freakin' computer or learn about the block feature the person from your social networking page. Do some activity & (try to) make friends outside of the school environment. It may be petty but take solace in making something out of your life when you graduate so you can drive the proverbial knife into your haters come the 20-year high school reunion by being rich & marrying a hot spouse. At the very least people really need to grow a thick skin.

In fairness, some of these solutions are overly simplistic but its a better start than simply "showing" solidarity & doing nothing about it once the day is over.

These are simply my views & you are most free to tell me to go fuck off because my "insensitivity."