The topic of whether one of my subjects is allowed to bring a friend, boyfriend, or escort for their own comfort level, periodically arises from prospective applicants.

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1. This can be a touchy subject for a variety of reasons. But here are my own personal guidelines, they are welcome to come so long as:

- they bring something to do, like a book or homework or something. My shoots are NO WHERE near as exciting as America's Next Top Model. They are often downright dull unless the person is directly involved & has something at stake in them.

- they aren't distracting for either of us. Rarely happens but I've had models trip out because THEY think their BF is subconsciously judging them while he watched. I'm not sure why they insisted on bringing them to the shoot in such instances but that's neither here nor there.

- they be willing to help if needed.

- their actions, good or bad, are ultimately a reflection on you. If they bail at the last minute & you have "no one else to come", its a reflection on you. Likewise if they assist in being aiding us by holding a reflector.

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2. Though I'm laid back & almost don't care (if it makes the prospect more comfortable, having someone along is fine by me), it can be an issue for other people. Their concerns may run something like this:

- equipment theft or liability issues

- what kind of personality will the friend have? Intimidating? Outgoing? Controlling? Unrealistic? Open minded? Inquisitive? They often won't know until gameday.

- limited space in the location/studio itself

- the friend's view about the shoot. Some people view it as a workplace. Their argument is is that you wouldn't take your friend to the doctor's when you get a physical or to the dentist to fill a cavity or to the day job? Why would you bring it to a shoot?

- We photographers are just as at risk "of something happening" as you models are. For all we know, you might be coming in hungover (I've had that happen once, she was sent home before she stepped in the door) or high.

- No one is allowed on set unless they're actively involved in some way. The theory is is that since they have nothing at stake, they're not going to care about getting good results.

I may not necessarily agree w/ everything stated in the above but its a viewpoint worth looking at.

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3. I also hear this statement on occasion:

"(You) should always bring someone with (you), because there are a lot people out there in this profession for all the wrong reason."

I often wince upon reading that.

Newsflash! There are people in it for the wrong reasons in ALL professions. A woman is 3 times more likely to "have something happen to them" (however that's defined) by someone they know than they are by a stranger. The "Photographer Rapes & Kills Blond Model" simply makes for a juicier headline & boosts ratings. Creepiness is hardly limited to ones profession or skill level.

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4. Though there's a certain level of trust needed when one operates in the public eye, there are ways that one can reduce the risk of "something happening" (however defined).

Sometimes I think people fall on the "I need to bring a friend" standpoint because they just don't realize what else they can do. In no particular order, here are some SUGGESTIONS:

- Have you actually talked to the person over the phone? Texting & email doesn't count because you cannot get a read on tonal inflection.

- Have you met the photographer in person? This is not always practical because of distance & free time but it sometimes can happen, particularly if you both are local. Body language reading can help in these cases.

- Have you told someone where you're going & who you're w/ & for how long? Have you also given the friend the photographer's contact name & number?

- Have you asked for references? At the very least, what was the photographer's reaction?

- Do you plan on doing periodic call-ins or texts (maybe during wardrobe or set changes?) to a trusted friend that everything is still alright?

- What kind of communication vibe are you getting? If you have questions, is the other person willing to explain things? Or like in emails, are things vague or terse?

- If you still wish to have someone come w/ you & the photographer is not comfortable w/ it, have you thought about having the friend as your driver, you being dropped off wherever (most likely w/ the photographer) & then allow them to use the vehicle to go chill somewhere locally or catch a movie while you shoot?

- Have you communicated clearly to the photographer what you will & won't do prior to the actual shoot? Have they actively acknowledged it in any meaningful way? Don't assume.

- Have you asked any questions?

- I've worked w/ models/subjects who say nothing when something is making them uncomfortable? Have you spoken up? I cannot speak for others but sometimes I become tunnel blind focusing on what I'm doing that I don't notice (for instance) the model is shaking from the cold.

Taking all this into account, does your Spidey Sense still tingle?

I'm not the type to think any one of these taken alone would raise an eyebrow. However collectively, a person may want to take a second look at the applicable answers, their context, & tone. Use your situational awareness vibe, evaluate, & act accordingly. No two instances are the same.

Sincerely,
&