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About Me Member Art Student semi23430/Male/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 4 Years
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Friends, Boyfriends, and Escorts, Oh My!

Sun Nov 8, 2009, 6:24 AM
The topic of whether one of my subjects is allowed to bring a friend, boyfriend, or escort for their own comfort level, periodically arises from prospective applicants.

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1. This can be a touchy subject for a variety of reasons. But here are my own personal guidelines, they are welcome to come so long as:

- they bring something to do, like a book or homework or something. My shoots are NO WHERE near as exciting as America's Next Top Model. They are often downright dull unless the person is directly involved & has something at stake in them.

- they aren't distracting for either of us. Rarely happens but I've had models trip out because THEY think their BF is subconsciously judging them while he watched. I'm not sure why they insisted on bringing them to the shoot in such instances but that's neither here nor there.

- they be willing to help if needed.

- their actions, good or bad, are ultimately a reflection on you. If they bail at the last minute & you have "no one else to come", its a reflection on you. Likewise if they assist in being aiding us by holding a reflector.

**********

2. Though I'm laid back & almost don't care (if it makes the prospect more comfortable, having someone along is fine by me), it can be an issue for other people. Their concerns may run something like this:

- equipment theft or liability issues

- what kind of personality will the friend have? Intimidating? Outgoing? Controlling? Unrealistic? Open minded? Inquisitive? They often won't know until gameday.

- limited space in the location/studio itself

- the friend's view about the shoot. Some people view it as a workplace. Their argument is is that you wouldn't take your friend to the doctor's when you get a physical or to the dentist to fill a cavity or to the day job? Why would you bring it to a shoot?

- We photographers are just as at risk "of something happening" as you models are. For all we know, you might be coming in hungover (I've had that happen once, she was sent home before she stepped in the door) or high.

- No one is allowed on set unless they're actively involved in some way. The theory is is that since they have nothing at stake, they're not going to care about getting good results.

I may not necessarily agree w/ everything stated in the above but its a viewpoint worth looking at.

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3. I also hear this statement on occasion:

"(You) should always bring someone with (you), because there are a lot people out there in this profession for all the wrong reason."

I often wince upon reading that.

Newsflash! There are people in it for the wrong reasons in ALL professions. A woman is 3 times more likely to "have something happen to them" (however that's defined) by someone they know than they are by a stranger. The "Photographer Rapes & Kills Blond Model" simply makes for a juicier headline & boosts ratings. Creepiness is hardly limited to ones profession or skill level.

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4. Though there's a certain level of trust needed when one operates in the public eye, there are ways that one can reduce the risk of "something happening" (however defined).

Sometimes I think people fall on the "I need to bring a friend" standpoint because they just don't realize what else they can do. In no particular order, here are some SUGGESTIONS:

- Have you actually talked to the person over the phone? Texting & email doesn't count because you cannot get a read on tonal inflection.

- Have you met the photographer in person? This is not always practical because of distance & free time but it sometimes can happen, particularly if you both are local. Body language reading can help in these cases.

- Have you told someone where you're going & who you're w/ & for how long? Have you also given the friend the photographer's contact name & number?

- Have you asked for references? At the very least, what was the photographer's reaction?

- Do you plan on doing periodic call-ins or texts (maybe during wardrobe or set changes?) to a trusted friend that everything is still alright?

- What kind of communication vibe are you getting? If you have questions, is the other person willing to explain things? Or like in emails, are things vague or terse?

- If you still wish to have someone come w/ you & the photographer is not comfortable w/ it, have you thought about having the friend as your driver, you being dropped off wherever (most likely w/ the photographer) & then allow them to use the vehicle to go chill somewhere locally or catch a movie while you shoot?

- Have you communicated clearly to the photographer what you will & won't do prior to the actual shoot? Have they actively acknowledged it in any meaningful way? Don't assume.

- Have you asked any questions?

- I've worked w/ models/subjects who say nothing when something is making them uncomfortable? Have you spoken up? I cannot speak for others but sometimes I become tunnel blind focusing on what I'm doing that I don't notice (for instance) the model is shaking from the cold.

Taking all this into account, does your Spidey Sense still tingle?

I'm not the type to think any one of these taken alone would raise an eyebrow. However collectively, a person may want to take a second look at the applicable answers, their context, & tone. Use your situational awareness vibe, evaluate, & act accordingly. No two instances are the same.

Sincerely,
:iconsemi234: & :iconsemi234-part2:

  • Reading: the Arms of Krupp
  • Eating: pancakes

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Comments


:iconsecuritydave:
Cheers for the faves
:icongeroo-who:
nice gallery

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"The answer is none of the above."
:icondevoman1948:
many thanks for the fav..:)

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challenge the norm
:iconcypherthefallen:
thank you very very much for the fave ;)

--
CypherTheFallen

:P DON'T CLICK! [link] :P
:iconalexb244:
I have just visited your anorexia gallery. You are doing great work.
This whole discussion with UL brought back my memories of my bulimia. I cannot even begin to tell you how awful that was. I would not eat for days, just a fruit maybe and then binge and truly gorge myself on anything I could find and then immediately lock myself in a loo. I remember the routine, you learn to do it quickly, fingers down your throat and then throw everything up, often in stages, till some blood would come out and you knew there was nothing more. I lived like that for three years. Bulimia is disgusting and it makes you feel disgusting, you know what you are doing is wrong but you cannot stop it. Eventually I did, just like that and never went back to it. The thing that haunts though is what it does to your self esteem, you always carry with you this sense of being worthless, even long after you stop doing it.
If you were to add images of bulimic women it would be very effective.

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Alex


Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony
:icondreaminshades:
Haha, can you favorite your own work?
:iconsemi234:
:+fav: 'ing my own work on my own profile. Nyet!

:+fav: 'ing my own work on someone else's profile. Dah!

--
Always open to working w/ adventurous subjects (particularly if you're in Northern NY) who are brave enough to be in front of my camera. Interested? :devart: note me at your leisure & maybe we can figure something out.
Hidden by Owner
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:icontheirishmaeve:
So it looks like I'll be in the Cape this next month! :)

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I'm currently on a vodka diet, I've already lost three days!!!
:iconsemi234:
Drop me a private message when you get the dates figured out & when you wish to try & shoot out this way & we'll figure something out (whether it be you in front or behind the camera is irrelevant, LOL).

--
Always open to working w/ adventurous subjects (particularly if you're in Northern NY) who are brave enough to be in front of my camera. Interested? :devart: note me at your leisure & maybe we can figure something out.
:icontheirishmaeve:
Cool! Well, I'm not 100% on the dates, I'm going to see when I can get tickets to go to Fenway... and then I'll plan my trip hehe But, I'll let you know when I do! :)

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I'm currently on a vodka diet, I've already lost three days!!!
:icondougschwarz:
saw your work with ~dreaminshades and i like it alot!
:iconsemi234:
Thank you, ~dreaminshades is a complete doll to work w/. She never fails to make me laugh.

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Always open to working w/ adventurous subjects (particularly if you're in Northern NY) who are brave enough to be in front of my camera. Interested? :devart: note me at your leisure & maybe we can figure something out.
:iconedaoust:
Thank you very much for the :+devwatch: and :+fav:! :)

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Eric Daoust Photographer
Gallery: [link]

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